Thoughts on Mother's Day

Last night as I was putting Will to bed he said to me "Hey mommy, do you know that Ruby REALLY likes you?". It made me laugh because it's true- wherever I am, there is Ruby. She is my little shadow, brushing her teeth when I brush mine, helping me cook and put away dishes. If my hair is in a pony tail she wants her hair in a pony tail. If Brad tries to take her out of the car she cries and says "No, mommy!".  This has been an adjustment for me. Will is much more laid back and chill and whereas he loves his mommy, his love is not as intense and pursuing(sometimes down-right stalkerish) as Ruby's. Ruby is watching my every move, keeping a close eye on my comings and goings, emulating everything I do. It has made me extra conscious about how I talk about myself and how I spend my time. I am Ruby's definition of womanhood.

There are times when I try to think back about moments with my own mother and I feel sad when my memories of her are blurry or incomplete. It has been over 20 years since she died. I was nine years old. As I look at my own children and the little kids in my neighborhood the reality of what it would mean for one of them to lose their mother really sets in and I realize the significance of my loss. I was a little girl just about to enter the torturous years of middle school and my mom, my definition of womanhood, was dying in our living room and all I could do was look on and watch it happen. I remember feeling confused, powerless, and most of all lost. I spent the next few years after her death not really knowing quite what to do with myself.

Motherhood has brought me back to my mother in a special way. When Ruby cries and I scoop her up into my arms to comfort her and she slimes my shoulders with her mouth, I remember the saltiness of my mother's skin when I would cry in her arms in the same way. When I read to my children before bed and they snuggle into my sides I remember her reading Teddy Bears Picnic and The Giving Tree to me. As I plan birthday parties and holidays dozens of memories flood into my mind of her making every celebration special and extravagant. I am comforted when I realize that I don't have to remember everything perfectly because my life is all wrapped up in her life just like Ruby's life is all wrapped up in mine. Even if I can't quite remember her voice or what her laugh sounded like I can feel her in my veins. I can hear her voice in my own voice, her laugh in my own laugh, her sigh in my own sigh.

It has been over twenty years and at times the pain is still fresh and my loss is glaring.  I desperately wanted her there on my wedding day and at the births of my children. The difference between now and when I was young is that life is now livable and I don't feel lost anymore.  As I've matured as a woman and grown comfortable in my own skin I feel thankful for who she was and how she loved me.  As I parent my children I am thankful for her example during my early formative years. Happy Mother's Day to my kind, intelligent, thoughtful, beautiful, creative, gentle mother. I miss you. I love you. I can't wait to see you again and introduce you to my beautiful family.

Beer Brats

Grilling season is upon us! And due to all of my Wisconsinite blood I am craving brats on a daily basis. This is a simple way to amp up your usual brat and it is a good way to feed a crowd. . .that is of course assuming you aren't like the Lucht family who consumes absurd amounts of tasty-bratness.  The four of us ate a dozen last night! Don't judge until you try this recipe and then you will be stuffing your face as well. We use a charcoal Weber grill but obviously any grill will work. The brats brown up pretty fast after you pre-cook them in the beer bath so just keep an eye on them and turn them frequently.

Beer Brats

Ingredients:

1 dozen raw brats (I get the hofbrau brats from Trader Joe's)

1 dozen brat buns (optional, we go bun-less usually but Trafer Joe's carries brat buns)

4 tablespoons butter

1 onion, thinly sliced

3 cans or 2 bottles of beer (We get a six-pack of Name Tag Beer from Trader Joe's for $2.99)

ketchup, mustard, relish, ect.

Directions:

Combine the brats, butter, onion and beer in a large dutch oven or pot. Give it a good stir and then bring to a boil. Once it starts boiling reduce the heat to a simmer and cook for about 10-15 minutes or until brats are cooked through. Remove brats from the beer bath and cook on the grill until golden brown. We also use a slotted spoon and remove the onions from the beer bath and cook them in an aluminum foil boat on the grill and eat the grilled onions on top of our brats. Serve with spicy mustards, relish, or whatever else you like. You can also use pretzel buns for some extra goodness. Enjoy!

Apple Coffee Cake

This is my go-to when we have over-night guests and I want to have something nice to serve them in the morning. I make it in a glass pie dish that has been greased with butter. It will seem like there isn't enough batter initially but it will expand during baking to fill the pan. Another option is to double the recipe and cook it in a 9x9 square dish in which care you will have to cook it a bit longer.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cup flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup of sugar (I use Trader Joe's Pure Cane sugar)
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 5 1/2 Tbsp unsalted butter, room temperature
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1/2 cup whole milk
• 1 medium Cortland or other baking apple, peeled and sliced

Directions

1 Preheat the oven to 375°F. Grease a pie dish with butter.

2 In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt.

3 In a separate small bowl, mix 1/4 a cup of the sugar with the cinnamon, set aside.

4 Using an electric mixer, beat the butter with the remaining 1/4 cup sugar. Beat in the egg until blended. Add the flour mixture in three additions, alternating with the milk, beating after each addition until just combined.

5 Pour half of the batter in the bottom of the baking dish. Lay the apple slices on the batter so they just cover the batter (you may have to overlap some slices). Sprinkle the apples with the cinnamon-sugar mixture, reserving a teaspoon or two to sprinkle on top. Spread the rest of the batter over the apples. Sprinkle the remaining cinnamon-sugar on top.

6 Bake the cake for 25 minutes or until it is golden brown and apples start to bubble at the edges.

Curry Meatballs

I was super shocked when my whole family loved and devoured this meal. Although my kids are pretty adventurous eaters I thought curry might be pushing them too far. The flavors were mild enough that it did not turn them off but strong enough to keep the grown-ups happy. As far as meatballs go these are much simpler than the swedish meatballs I am used to making so I felt like they were prepped and ready in no time. This recipe originally comes from the Everyday Paleo blog. If you plan on serving these meatballs over rice or with veggies then you'll probably want to double the sauce. We like to eat ours with naan bread from the freezer section of Trader Joe's.

Curry Meatballs

1 pound ground beef
1/3 cup finely diced red onion
1/3 cup finely diced apple
1/3 cup quick oats
1 egg
3/4 Tablespoon curry powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
freshly ground pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 400°F. In a large bowl, place all of the meatball ingredients and mix well. Form into golf-ball sized meatballs and place in a glass baking dish. Bake for 25 minutes. Makes 8-10 meatballs.

Sauce

1 Tablespoon coconut oil (I use Nutriva brand)
1/2 teaspoon crushed garlic
1 1/2 teaspoon honey
1 1/2 teaspoon curry powder
1 Tablespoon tomato paste (I used Bionaturae brand from Whole Foods in the glass jar)
1/2 cup chicken broth

In a large skillet saute the garlic in the coconut oil over medium heat for 2-3 minutes. Add the honey, curry powder, and tomato paste and whisk together. Add the chicken broth and continue to whisk until the sauce is smooth. Bring to a simmer. After the meatballs come out of the oven, add them to the sauce and turn to coat well. Cover and cook for an additional 5-10 minutes.

Chicken with Mustard Cream Sauce

This recipe is the bomb diggity. You are going to want to kiss me on the mouth after you make this. It's not just good, it is REALLY good. It is also REALLY easy and almost impossible to screw-up. The only thing you need to be careful about is not over-cooking the chicken. It's better to under-cook it initially and then finish cooking it in the sauce instead of having chicken jerky because you over-cooked it.

Chicken with Mustard Cream Sauce

Ingredients:

• 4 whole Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts
• 2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
• 2 Tablespoons Butter
• 3 whole Garlic Cloves, Minced
• 1 cup White Wine (I used 2 buck chuck from Trader Joe's)
• 1 Tablespoon (heaping) Dijon Mustard  (I use the the dijon mustard w/white wine from TJ's)
• 1 Tablespoon (heaping) Grainy Mustard (I use the whole grain dijon from TJ's)
• 1/4 cup (to 1/2) Heavy Cream
• 1/4 cup (to 1/2) Chicken Broth
• Salt And Pepper, to taste

Directions:

Cut the chicken breasts in half lengthwise so that you have eight smaller, thinner chicken cutlets.  You could also pound the breast flat to 1/4 inch thick if you want to have larger pieces. Salt and pepper both sides.

Heat oil and butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Cook cutlets on both sides until nice and golden brown and cooked through. Remove chicken from the skillet and keep on a plate. You can cook the chicken in batches if it won't all fit in your skillet. Don't worry about covering it because it will go back on the heat later.

Reduce the heat to medium. Add the garlic to the pan and saute it for a minute, stirring to make sure it won't burn. Next pour in the wine being careful if cooking over an open flame. Then just let the wine bubble up and cook until it's reduced by half.

Throw in the mustards and whisk to combine, then whick in the cream. Stir in chicken broth, adding more if the sauce seems too thick. Taste sauce and adjust whatever you think it needs. Add chicken breasts back to the pan, nestling them into the sauce. Allow sauce to cook for another few minutes, shaking the pan if needed to move things around.

Serve chicken with a green salad, spooning the sauce over the top and some crusty bread.